Twitter used to be a place where people could enjoy a healthy debate on all manner of topics, swapping ideas, exchanging opposing views in a friendly, reasoned manner. When did that change? Now it seems that if someone doesn't agree with your point of view or challenges one of your tweets, the immediate reaction is to reach for the “Block” button, sometimes without any debate whatsoever. You might tweet something controversial and, if you're not one of the recognised “popular” tweeters, you're immediately blocked. Yesterday these people were your friends; you laughed, cried, supported, commiserated, offered advice and swapped recipes with each other. Today you're persona non grata and there is no way back. You've been blocked. End of “friendship”.
Do these people who block unceremoniously treat their RL friends with the same cavalier attitude? They must be very lonely people if they do. Friends won't always agree with one another. There will be differences of opinion, maybe even heated exchanges of words, but hopefully you'll still be friends once the dust settles. So why don't we give our online friendships the same care and attention we give our face-to-face friendships? Is that what's missing: the face-to-face interaction? Because the person you're chatting with on a daily basis – often more frequently than your RL friends – is an avatar or name on a screen and not someone you have to look at in the eye, maybe that's what makes it so easy to cut that person out of your life without so much as a second thought?
But what about the other person, the one you've blocked? Have you given any thought to how your actions have made them feel? Possibly confused, bemused, upset? Do you care? Or are they just a name on a screen, therefore they don't have feelings like you do? Perhaps they don't count in the same way that a RL friend does because you didn't really know them that well anyway, even though you have chatted and exchanged huge amounts of personal information over the preceding weeks or months. That's all forgotten and they'll forget too, they won't really care, will they?
Well, speaking for myself, I care – a lot. Blocking, unlike unfollowing, is harsh because it's so final. I get very upset when someone I've chatted with for a long time suddenly blocks me, especially when they do so without any discussion. I'm left feeling very confused, wondering what the final straw was (surely it was more than one comment that caused them to act so harshly?) and also wondering why they didn't feel the need to discuss it with me. When I block someone I've been following for a long time I usually send a DM explaining why. I wouldn't end a RL friendship without giving a reason and don't see why I should treat an online friendship any differently. It's the polite thing to do.
But not everyone shares my view. I'm aware of that. Only this morning I had an exchange with a tweep, who posted a crass comment about something in the news. I replied to it, saying it wasn't a joking matter, to which they responded that their expressing sympathy wouldn't change anything. I replied that their empathy was overwhelming(!), expecting that to be the end of it. However, they responded that I knew where the “unfollow” button was and they weren't going to be made to feel bad for expressing an opinion.
Now, I had no intentions of unfollowing this person, and tweeted as much. They are entitled to their opinion, whether I agree with it or not, and this person isn't in the habit of making crass comments, otherwise I wouldn't have followed them for as long as I have. I follow lots of people on Twitter who express opposing views to myself. Sometimes, if I have any strong feelings on the subject, I'll comment and engage them in some debate (if they're willing). Rarely does it end in anyone being blocked, although it has happened on occasion. Like today. The person in question blocked me. Clearly my comment made them feel uncomfortable about what they'd tweeted and they didn't like it.
I'm not hugely upset over losing this Twitter chum. We didn't chat every day and this person made it clear that Twitter is an escape for them, that most of what they tweet is impersonal and bears no relation to their real life. I didn't really get their sense of humour either, but I enjoyed our DM chats when they were being themselves. They could be really sweet and supportive.
There are others I'm more upset over, that it still hurts when I see their name mentioned in someone else's timeline. I've even unfollowed people simply because they still follow these people and it was too painful to see their name pop up over and over again, knowing I couldn't speak to them. Does that make me sad? I hope not. I hope it shows that I'm a caring person who gives a damn about the people I follow. For some, “it's only Twitter”, but for me, a lot of the people I follow I regard as friends and treat them as I would my RL friends. I may never meet most of them, although I'd dearly love to, but I have met some and found them to be just as lovely in person as they are online. While some people create a Twitter persona, others are just themselves, as I am, tweeting about their lives, offering support to those we follow, laughing at or with the funny ones, posting pics and links, opining on current affairs and generally enjoying our Twitter experience.
I love Twitter. I love the diverse range of people I can chat to whom I would never otherwise have the opportunity to meet. But I do wish some people would think before they hit that “block” button. Is what's being said so awful that you never want to speak to this person ever again? Or is this just an instantaneous response to a particular tweet that will be forgotten in a day or two? How would you feel if this person blocked you? Would you miss them? If you think you might, give it a day and see if you still feel the same way. You may have a change of heart. And if you do disagree with someone's opinion, why not discuss it with them? Of course, if you feel they're not worth your time you should go ahead and block them, because you clearly don't care about them any longer. But do the decent thing; send them a DM and tell them the reason you've decided to block them so they're not left wondering “why?”.
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