Last night my car alarm went off, indicating the battery was flat. I went out to try and hook up my new battery charger, which turned out to be a bit of an ordeal. I'm recovering from tonsillitis and my back is currently in spasm, so I'm in a lot of pain.
I tried to open the car doors using the remote control but, because the battery was dead, it didn't work. I struggled to open the doors manually, because the locks don't work properly. The lock spins round and round until it eventually unlocks. Once I got into the car I tried the bonnet release, but I couldn't get the bonnet to open. I got filthy trying to lift the catch under the bonnet, but nothing was working. In frustration, I pulled on the bonnet release lever as hard as I could, not caring if I broke it. I felt a click and knew it had worked. I raised the bonnet and secured it then went back in the house to get my 30ft extension cable. It's on a reel and not very heavy, but trying to unspool it while using my walking stick to steady myself made it quite a difficult task.
Once I had the extension in place I went back in the house for my charger, but I had to take a break. My legs were trembling and I was in a lot of pain. After a few minutes of recovery, I took my charger outside and tried to hook it up. However I hadn't done this before and I couldn't see where to attach the alligator clips. While I was reading the instruction manual, one of my neighbours came over, but she didn't know anything about cars, so she was just being nosy. She did pick up my wheelie bins for me. Not that they've stayed upright. The wind has seen to that.
I couldn't see what I was doing, so I went back into the house to get a torch, by which time my nosy neighbour had gone home. When I attached the clips to the battery the alarm started chirping again, so I thought I'd hooked it up properly. Unfortunately my charger doesn't appear to have any indicator lights to help with this, only a needle gauge to show how full the battery is. But by this point I didn't care. I was exhausted and in severe pain, so I abandoned the car and headed back to my house. I left the car unlocked and the bonnet up. I really didn't care if someone had decided to steal my charger, or even the car. It took all of my energy to climb the 3 steps into my house and I couldn't get to the refuge of my couch quick enough. I'd left the front door unlocked and a light on in the hall, but I didn't care.
As soon as I sat down, I let out a wail of utter despair. I've never made a noise like that before. I sounded like a wounded animal. I was in so much pain and felt utterly useless. Being unable to manage simple tasks like that makes the future seem hopeless. I may have reached the point where I have to bite the bullet and ask for help. It's getting harder to cope with everyday things. I can't remember when I last had a "good" day. I keep hoping for tomorrow, but it never comes. I hurt so much and I'm exhausted all of the time. It's a wretched existence.
The forecast was for rain, so I had to go out and bring everything inside. As feared, I hadn't connected the charger correctly and the needle on the gauge hadn't moved. By now I needed 2 walking sticks to steady myself, which made carrying things even more awkward. I unplugged and detached the charger and carried it to the doorstep, then I went back for the extension cord and put it on the doorstep too. I tried to secure the car, but the doors won't lock manually, so she's still open. Not that she'll be easy to steal.
I managed to bring everything inside, lock the front door and switch off the lights before collapsing in a painful heap on the couch. My legs were like jelly and I was trembling with fatigue. I didn't even have any appetite, despite not having eaten for 6 hours, which is not at all like me. I did, however, manage to get some food an hour later, just before bed.
Today I called my GP to ask for painkiller patches. She initially offered capsaicin cream and ibuprofen gel, but I've tried both in the past, which she could see from my records. If they worked I wouldn't be asking for something new. She finally offered lignocaine patches, which I'm keen to try (anything to dull the pain!). I should get them tomorrow. She also offered to put me in touch with Occupational Therapy. I said I'd been given their details by another GP and it has been left up to me to decide when to contact them. Part of the problem is that I'm not sure what kind of help might be offered. And I'm not sure what to ask for. My needs vary depending on what's wrong with me, so it's difficult to be specific. It's not as straight forward as it could be. I think I need to make some calls and look at my options.
To be continued...
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